Choosing to Live For
Dear Steph, I write you because I need some words from a woman that has chosen to live for climbing. I am 34 years old and I am a biomedical engineer unhappy. I say unhappy because at 29 years old I started climbing and my thoughts changed. I was really focused on career in the past and I studied a lot. Sport has been always part of my life, but I have never fall in love such as for climbing. It makes me feel the real Giulia, happy, free, concentrated, full of life and some other feelings that you know for sure. I am taking the decision to find a work that gives me more time for my passion, but it is not easy because you know.. money is necessary for living and i am scared that money couldn’t be enough. Especially I am not a professional climber and sometimes I ask to myself if it is the right choice. Two years ago I already changed my job in order to have more time, but in the office all day long I feel in prison and everytime I have to train in the late evening, tired and this is really frustrating because i feel tired…and many times I have injuries. I am really confused about my future, sometimes i feel selfish. I hope you can tell me some words that can help me according to your past choices.
Thank you Steph đŸ™‚
Dear Giulia, I’m sorry to hear you are in a hard place. Making big life choices is not easy, and it can take a lot of energy. And the choices you are considering are very big and quite scary. Today I was thinking about some of the big choices I’ve made in life. Some of them did not work out the way I’d hoped, and it’s really hard not to wish I had chosen differently in those cases–I think that’s human. Others have worked out incredibly well, and of course I really enjoy thinking about those! I guess the truth is that it’s pretty unlikely that every single choice you make in life will turn out the way you want it to. Some of them will be great and some of them will be not so great, but you never actually get to find that out without making them.
So on some level, you kind of have to go through life deciding to do things even though you’re not sure what will happen, and that’s what makes it so hard and scary when deciding to take a turn or make a big move. Because really we are talking about risk, and how best to take it. It helps a lot for me to consider both the best case and worst case scenarios, when I’m trying to assess risk for myself. So when you think about taking risks in your own life, think about all the elements at play. Health and happiness are elements, as are safety and security, and they all factor into the equation.
The best advice I have is to make sure that when you take big risks, you are using a rope rather than free soloing, and to think about what’s going to happen if you take a really big fall. I have learned to consider commitment a lot when making decisions, just like you do when you’re climbing above your gear or heading into the mountains. I ask myself, how committed is this getting me as I go forward? Is there a way to reduce the commitment, or do I just have to go for it? And what I’ve found is that there are often multiple ways to reduce the commitment level in a given scenario, if I spend a little time looking for them. In a climbing example, it would be taking the extra time and strength to place an inobvious piece of gear rather than just running it out, or choosing to spend an extra season training rather than going for your biggest objective right away. And finding ways to reduce the commitment level, without changing your goals, can allow you to move forward more safely because you’ve reduced the worst case scenario.
I hope you can find your best way to move forward with your goals!
Steph
