Talking About Fears
hi steph, i’m amazed to read you never get scared during a skydive. the best i ever managed is to only get anxious. obviously you are incredibly bold, given the standard you solo climb at & the fact you BASE jump as well as skydive. have you always been bold or is it something you have aquired through experience? it sounds from your post like you use reasoning a lot to dispell your fears? i’m asking because fear has always held me back in skydiving as well as climbing.
Dear Glitch,
I was probably more scared than anyone on my first tandem skydive….so scared I didn’t start to learn to skydive for about five years after that! I think for me, fear comes with feeling a lack of control. So that has been my biggest challenge, to learn to let go of things. Skydiving seems to really help with that, through necessity.
I do think that one “trick” or technique I have learned about intimidating things is that repetition tames even the fiercest nerves. And since I know that, it’s easier to force myself through the fear pangs when doing something intimidating for the first time. For example, the first time I BASE jumped a cliff (the Tombstone, in Moab), I was nearly terrified. But I knew I just had to get myself off it the first time, and every time would be easier and easier. It was. The second time was significantly less frightening, and the third better still, etc. etc.
It is an exercise that gives me a lot of confidence in life, this studied approach to things that feel initially terrifying, and repeating them into things that are comfortable and even fun. Conversely, I have found that pushing myself too fast and rushing into things can cause me to regress. So it’s important to take small steps, and to stay consistent. Repetition and adding one small, new thing at a time, seems like a foolproof formula for increasing one’s comfort level with fearful experiences.
Right now I am still feeling very intimidated when landing my BASE canopy, after a pretty serious landing accident last month. But I know that if I can stick it through these first jumps back, things will get back to normal. I started BASE jumping again last week, and it was really terrifying watching the ground come up, with all the subconscious memories of the massive pounding I took last month. But with every landing survived (!), the confidence returns. I think as with most things in life, chipping away at fear requires steady discipline as well as baby steps. It’s also very important to take the time to praise yourself for progress, and to realize that progress is being made, as you slowly and steadily raise your own bar. This is what works for me, for skydiving, climbing, BASE jumping, and pretty much anything scary in life.
And when you are not scared, you have a lot more fun!
xxSteph
