Questions From the Gym
Hey Steph, Let me start off by saying you kick ass and are a huge inspiration for climbers all over the world!!!
Quick question, I recently started climbing at my local rock gym here in Phoenix AZ. I love climbing and my girlfriend and I go as much as possible, about 2 to 5 times a week. We love climbing indoors but we both really want to start sport or trad climbing outdoors as soon as possible. Like I said we just started climbing and are solid on 5.7 to 5.9 routes. I have spoken with multiple climbers in the gym about this and have gotten mixed results. Some say go out asap and have even offered to take us with them, others have said don’t go outside until you can climb every 5.10 in the gym with no problems. I was wondering if you had any advice as to what we should do????
Thanks alot and look forward to hearing from you soon,
Aaron and Sierra
Hey Steph
First of all, you are an inspiration… you can control your emotions and your instincts… you have achieved Free Will! Congrats on ALL your achievements!
Well, I’m writing because I’m hoping you maybe have some insight on climbing with a ‘significant other’…
I’ve been climbing for a year and a bit, on average 5+ days a week, usually always with my boyfriend (he got me hooked). We’ve both improved alot. Me recently getting over my fear of lead climbing + taking falls, and he has no fear so he is just improving in general.
However, lately (being winter) we’ve been climbing at an indoor gym (almost everyday) and it’s been getting weird between us, kinda negative. The energy is lackluster (when we climb at the gym), like the motivation is gone. (Not the motivation to climb, we both love climbing. But you know how you feed off motivation from your partner ?… that part seems to be lacking).
Just wondering if you have any advice, words of wisdom, or general insight on climbing with your boyfriend/ spouse / significant other.
He is great, and I care for him deeply… I don’t want turmoil from something that can be so great.
(Perhaps I should be e-mailing Dr. Phil…)
Indoor training just isn’t the same as multi-pitch days!
-Catherine
Dear Aaron, Sierra and Catherine,
I can’t help but think you guys should all join forces, and all of your questions could be answered! 🙂
Climbing gyms are great, and I love them, but it’s true that it’s a totally different environment than climbing outside. I think what you guys are all experiencing is a symptom of the fact that climbing inside and climbing outside are actually two extremely different sports. Climbing inside always helps you with climbing outside, because your body is getting motor learning and your muscles and fingers are getting and staying strong. But other than that, it’s not the same at all.
To start climbing outside when you have been learning in the gym, just use the same common sense you would use if you were going to start climbing outside without having started in the gym first. Do all your research, try to find experienced friends to go with, pick routes that are moderate until you get comfortable with the style and the systems. Expect your progress to be much more gradual than in the gym, because there is more to deal with, especially if you start climbing with gear. But you will love it 🙂
The energy will always be different in a gym than outside, again, because it’s a totally different environment. I hardly climb in gyms, and when I do it’s because I’m in a city with a friend I haven’t seen in a long time, or it’s raining and I’m on a trip and dying for exercise, so I’m always all excited and having the best time ever…! But if you are there day in and day out at your same local gym, I know it can get pretty routine–whether you’re with your boyfriend or anyone else. I wouldn’t worry too much about it, but I might try to do something else instead or mix up the group if it’s really becoming no fun. Because we all know that climbing with a significant figure can be totally different than climbing with regular partners. That’s just a fact of life. But you definitely don’t want to get into the habit of having no fun together, or things being weird, and let those winter doldrums spill over into the spring when it’s time to go outside and have fun like you normally do.
Whatever you practice is what you learn, including your mood. So if fun is not being had, change things up! If fun is STILL not being had–well, you might want to consider really changing things up. I know Dr. Phil would say exactly the same thing, if we could just get him in a harness and chalkbag….
🙂 Steph
I think Steph’s advice to all three of you is great. Catherine, my boyfriend and I rock climb and ice climb together. We just started leading on our own some this past summer – so we are fairly new to the sport, and we started together so our skill levels are about the same. I love the energy and connection we have because we climb together. But, I can see where climbing day in and day out together in a gym could become rather routine. I definitely agree with Steph’s recommendation of mixing it up some and finding activities that you can do together other than going to the climbing gym. You should consider cycling together, or, depending on where you live, mountain biking. We just bought a slackline and we’re having lots of fun trying to learn how to walk on it. One other thought – find a girlfriend who climbs, or who wants to learn, and go climb with the girls some. Most of my friends, think I’m crazy, but I’ve met some pretty cool women in Moab and other places who I have learned a lot from. Most of all, keep it fun!
from @jrmontag on twitter:
Great responses, Steph.
One other important thing to consider when climbing with a significant other (or any partner, really) is that you’re both on the same page about what you want to get out of the sport. An extreme example: a hyper-competitive climber and a relaxed, social climber may not have
maximal fun climbing together.
I know some couples who get the most out of climbing together, and some who get the most from climbing separately (with other friends). Both can still provide great support and encouragement for their partner, and they both benefit in the long run.
Be open and upfront with your climbing partners and you can’t go wrong!
Josh
[…] advice from @highsteph on climbing inside, climbing outside, and climbing with significant others http://ht.ly/3whPT – Good info on a very useful knot, the Euro Death Knot, from the AAI (@alpineinstitute) […]
Communication! I can’t say it enough. I’m annoying to climb with sometimes, unless my partner’s skill level is better than mine. I’m notorious for shouting beta from the ground when the climber is trying to figure out sequences for him/herself. Recently, my fiancee told me basically to STFU, and I needed it, and I did.
My point is, do you know what’s making it awkward and unpleasant for you? Do you both feel the same way? Have you expressed your feelings in a non-defensive way? Communication is always a good place to start.
You might just be climbing too much. Anyone, I don’t care who you are, the best of friends, passionate lovers, whatever the case may be, will become annoyed and aggravated with one another if you don’t have a break. There’s so much simple truth to the adage “absence makes the heart grow fonder”. Also, it may not be the frequency of time, but the activity together might be getting monotonous. Consider a break for a week, a month, whatever. Hiking or kayaking or even bowling, or if you’re super ballsy like Steph, BASEjumping. Another adage: “variety is the spice of life”. Call me Captain Obvious, but I think these things are worth considering. The best of luck to you both.
Aaron and Sierra:
I recently went through exactly what you’re going through. I started seriously climbing last August, and I’ve been nothing short of obsessed since. With regard to outdoor climbing, there is no substitute. I HAVE to use an indoor gym because in the east where I live, the crags are all a minimum of 3 hours away and covered with snow and frigid temperatures for most of the winter.
I think it’s important to say that if you enjoy climbing indoors and that’s your thing, then don’t feel incomplete by not going outdoors. However, if you’re like me, you’ve become entranced with climbing and have to do it in a natural, beautiful setting to be completely fulfilled. If that’s the case, there’s a few things to learn and remember.
Cost: climbing outside requires gear, which you need to be safe, that is not cheap. Also, traveling isn’t cheap. Don’t let this discourage you though, it’s totally worth it.
Practicality: Those that have told you that you need to climb 5.10 before you go outside are full of it. There are plenty of outdoor routes that beginners can take advantage of, you just need to be aware of your surroundings, area ethics, and skill level, which brings me to my next point.
Safety: Even if you’re going to top rope on say, a 40 ft crag, you still need to know how to correctly build a safe, solid, redundant anchor. Also, I know people that have jumped right into leading and placing gear. Some of them fared very well, some haven’t. If you’re considering placing gear while leading (as opposed to a bolted route) make sure you’ve logged tons of hours of practice so that correct placement is second nature.
Outdoors is where it’s at. Good luck and be safe!
Anyway, sorry Steph if I’m stepping on your toes or stealing your thunder, it’s just that I love this blog, and both these issues are near and dear to me.