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Motivation

• May 2009
• Hi Steph Climb Fly Travel Uncategorized

Hi Steph,
I just have to say I was blown away seeing a video of your free solo climb
up diamond. Ive seen a bunch of climbing videos and I climb myself, but
Ive never seen anything like what you are doing. Its amazing to think
that you really put yourself out there and just go for it like that with
that kind of confidence. Its unbelievable to me.

I just wanted to ask, how did you get started climbing like this? Was it
a feeling of not wanting to be tied down? Or perhaps, did you just want to
feel like taking a risk?

Hope to hear from you, and amazing job.
-Steve

Thanks Steve 🙂
When I first started climbing, I often went out by myself bouldering. I tend to do a lot of things by myself anyway, because I like the freedom and simplicity of just going off on my own to mess around, whether running, jumping, climbing, traveling, or whatever. I remember early on at Horsetooth Reservoir, climbing up six inches higher, and then back down again, over and over on some of the higher boulder problems, until I felt confident enough to finally climb up to the top. The first routes I free soloed were at Lumpy Ridge, the summer I lived there and worked as a waitress at Ed’s Cantina after graduating from Colorado State with my master’s. I would solo only in the 5.6 or 5.7 range, rarely 5.8, about 3 or 4 pitches. So it’s something I started doing pretty early on as a climber, and get a lot of enjoyment from doing. I like the feeling of simplicity, and motion, and being totally focused on the moment and the natural elements around me.

As the years went by, I discovered I also like the feeling of focusing on a harder solo, and figuring out how to feel safe and in control doing it. The first place I started to push difficulty a little bit was at Indian Creek, with single pitch routes. It just occurred to me that I could do it, so I did. And I discovered there is really a big difference between dreaming about something, and actually going out and doing it. I found it a powerful mental exercise in fear and self-knowledge. A lot of elements come into play when taking off the rope, and going up on a route. Certainty changes, and the mental factor is huge. It is really interesting to discover and explore those differences.

I have always been drawn to different types of climbing at different times, and I love doing easy, long free solos as much as possible, kind of like going for a run. But for me, to do harder free solos is a special thing that comes around at certain moments.

To answer your question, when I was driven to solo the Diamond, it was a very transitional time of my life, and I needed to gather myself up and focus my energy, and figure things out. So for months, my climbing motivation existed only in free soloing, as this is a very spiritual and introspective place for me. I was climbing in Yosemite, Tuolomne, Eldorado, and Rocky Mountain National Park. Soloing was a vehicle for me to think about mortality, personal freedom and responsibility, and what really matters. It was also the time period I started skydiving and BASE jumping, two things which also offer a lot of opportunity for deep questioning and serious thinking.

At this point, soloing is something I just do, and love to do, to different degrees at different times, and for different feelings and reasons. Sometimes it’s about searching, sometimes it’s about simply feeling good and spreading my wings. And that was more the place I was in the following spring, when I soloed the North Face of Castleton. I felt grounded and very free, and the aesthetic aspect of free soloing such a striking line and then jumping off the summit really appealed to me, as a harmonious and very logical idea. It made sense, it was beautiful, I knew I could do it, and indeed, it was awesome 🙂 That’s perhaps the most special kind of experience one can have, I think. I feel blessed to be able to live those moments from time to time.
Take care!
xxSteph