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Losing Things

• November 2010
• Hi Steph Simple Living Climb Dogs

Hello Steph!
First off, thank you so much for having an awesome blog that incorporates some of my favorite things! I’ve been reading for a while now and always come back to high infatuation when I’m feeling a little off course. My question for you today is not really about climbing but I’d love to hear what you have to say nonetheless…

Recently my boyfriend and I ended a two+ year relationship. It was pretty mutual, just one of those ‘our lives are changing and moving away from one another’ moments, but I feel like I’ve lost a lot. He was my foremost (and favorite) climbing partner, his dog had become a huge part of my life and went from having major separation anxiety to being calm and enjoying life as a crag dog. My boyfriend taught me so much about climbing and living a simple life, appreciating the small things. We travelled together, trained together, lived together but in the end just couldn’t make it work.

I was wondering if you have any advice regarding how to move past all of that hurt and loss. I feel like every aspect of my life has been touched by this, especially all of my normal “coping mechanisms”. Instead of feeling satisfied when I climb now I just seem to mourn the loss of my two best friends, partner, etc. People keep telling me to just get a new dog and move on but I know that’s not the answer for me; Wyatt and I had a really special connection and it’s the specific relationship that I love.

Any advice would be really, really appreciated. Hope that life is treating you well!
Rachel

Dear Rachel,
I can absolutely relate, because I am longing for another dog. My dog Fletcher died the August before last, and it was pretty devastating for me. I can safely say I loved that dog more than anything. It was a long time before I could even really imagine wanting another dog. Because I love all dogs, but Fletcher was different. There is never going to be another dog like Fletch, and most of all I just want her back. There’s really no way to get over a dog you love that much. I know I can’t have Fletch, but she’s a tough act to follow. How can any other dog ever be as perfect as her?

However, it’s true what they say, that time heals all wounds. Funny enough, a little cat moved into my house last year, and Mao has turned out to be the nicest little creature imaginable! Except he is not so into camping. And now I am completely wrapped around his whiskers.

Though I couldn’t imagine it even a year ago, I am finally ready to start looking for another heeler. But it can’t just be any heeler, it has to be the right heeler! But I do think there is a right heeler out there, waiting for us to find each other 🙂 So there will not really be any way for you to replace Wyatt. But that does not mean that you won’t find another soul doggie in your life. When one door closes, another one opens. Take your time, be patient, and start looking when you are ready and then be patient some more….the same advice I give to myself 🙂
xxSteph