Looking For the Positive
- April 2011
- Hi Steph Simple Living
Hey Steph,
I just finished reading your book and was blown away. After reading it, I felt like I knew you, or at least somewhat about how you viewed the world, and I really felt compelled to ask you for some advice with my own life and some things I’ve been struggling with. I am a 23 year old college sophomore, and I am absolutely obsessed with rock climbing. it literally encompasses maybe 80% of my thoughts. Now as I am a little older than the average college sophomore, I see all of my friends graduating college and traveling, or going on climbing trips, and just living life in general. Now I feel like I’m missing out on this awesome stage in my life, but I realize the necessity in getting a degree. My vigor for college however has dwindled, as I see more and more people on the go around the world. In my heart I have this indescribable feeling. Maybe its envy, or maybe its just small mindedness. Have you ever experienced anything like this? And If you have, how did you change your outlook on life. I just want to get some advice on how to take control back of my own mind and life. My mind is literally out of control with negative thoughts to the point where I can almost say that I hate myself. I feel cheated.
Sorry for being intense, I just wanted to try and convey as much emotion in as little words as possible. I look forward to hearing back from you, and really appreciate your feedback.
Warmest,
Jesse (from Maryland)
Dear Jesse,
Thank you for writing to me, really. I feel your struggle, and I think there are a lot more people going through the same thing than either of us can even imagine. I was talking to my friend yesterday about life, and about struggling. I struggled pretty hard with different things both at your age, and then again a few years ago. I’m really drawn to Sufism, and to the poetry of Rumi. For years, I’ve studied and truly believed in the concept of “joy at sudden disappointment,” the knowledge that when seemingly bad things happen, in fact, they are the best things that could actually happen. But what we were talking about is the reality that you can truly believe in that concept, and then when difficulty comes, it’s so hard to truly embrace the concept in the present. Funny enough, looking back, those awful events always turn out to lead to the best possible things, so the right thing would always truly be to have joy in sudden disappointment. It’s easy to say and to believe, but somehow so hard to live. But I know from personal experience, that it’s always right though it seems like it’s not. Just hang in there. Things will turn around. Because the one thing we know for sure about life is that it always changes, for better or for worse. That knowledge makes me a little nervous in the good times, but it is a real comfort in the hard times. For sure, things will always change.
It’s easy to look around you and feel like things are always so much smoother or better for others. It’s not. You too will have smooth sailing and times of struggle, at many times throughout your life. That is the nature of life. Everybody is struggling, at some time or in some way, and your path is your path. Whatever you believe you will do, you will do. Embrace your present, and open your mind to your future. The Dalai Lama teaches that if you practice having positive thoughts, you will have more positive thoughts. I believe this is true. Focus on the positive, and allow yourself to envision whatever you want to do or be. This will truly change your brain, and it will influence your direction. If you want to be happy and positive, just practice being happy and positive. This is as easy as making yourself smile, just to practice. Or telling someone you like their shirt. Or reflecting on how lucky you are because you’re not hungry. This will instantly cause you to feel positive, as simple as that seems.
If you believe that a college degree will serve you in your goals, pursue it with real zest and appreciation for the opportunity you have in being able to be in college. Remember that there are so many people in this world who long for an education more than anything else, and you are truly blessed to be in a position to get one. Life is long. A lot of things will happen, and a lot of them will be good. Depending on how you feel and what you do, you can make them be even more good. It doesn’t matter what happens in life, it just matters how you feel about it.
And with hard work and discipline, you can go down whatever path you’d like to follow.
🙂 Steph
