Blog

Fear and Injury

• August 2016
• Hi Steph Climb

Hi Steph,
Firstly I want to say your books have inspired me both on the wall and in life and I appreciate your vulnerability in sharing with everyone your journey.
I have a question around fear and injuries. Nine months ago I broke my left fibula just below my knee, whilst falling off an indoor bouldering route. It put me out for about 5 months. I am just starting to boulder again and have been allowing myself to fall a few feet which seems to feel ok, however I’m finding I’m getting half way up a problem and bottling out of committing to the top. Whilst I guess this is understandable, I don’t know how to get around it and to stop the fear from advancing in my training. I trust my spotter, but he can’t catch me from the top.
Any advice or experiences would be really appreciated.
Leela (UK)

Hi Leela,
I’m sorry to hear that!

Here’s the deal. You are afraid because instinctively now you personally know at what height and what position it’s possible to actually injure yourself. Before you didn’t know that, it wasn’t real to you. You can’t put the genie back in the bottle, and you can’t unknow what you now know….in a way, ignorance is bliss. Your body and your brain are also instinctively going to protect your leg, regardless of your conscious desire to go for it and not worry about it. Also, if your spotter can’t catch you from the top, then actually you can’t trust him to catch you from the top, and you are now free soloing and you should be too afraid to fall. Gone are the days of blissfully going for it, not knowing what the real consequences are, which I actually think is a good thing (but doesn’t allow you to gloriously scrap through and send a highball here and there. oh well). That’s the reality.

It’s going to take time and gradual progression to mentally reach the place you were at before your injury–and this is actually good, because it’s also going to take time and gradual progression for your brain to regain confidence in your leg as an equal member of your body instead of a more vulnerable one. Injury is a real setback, not just in the official medical recovery time, but in the rebuilding stage where all these things need time to get put back together.

You will eventually trust your body, your leg and your spotter in situations where you know you can, but it’s not going to be today. You may put more energy into acquiring and carrying out many big crashpads too, which is a very good thing! But if you try to reach that end point right now, you’ll be continuously frustrated and it will probably take longer to get there. Although you may be pronounced recovered by your doctor, realize that from a climbing perspective, the process is still going on for a while.

The best thing you can do through this phase is focus on climbing specific strength training that doesn’t require falling from the top of a boulder, because this is going to build up your confidence in yourself. Keep doing what you’re doing, minus the part where you’re mad at yourself for not topping out of the problems, and add in some hangboard workouts, frenchies and/or campusing if you have access to a campus board with a toprope set up on it or if you feel comfortable dropping off from it.

You will get better, it will just take some time, so stay positive and focus on your process and the all the little gains you’re making over time. This will keep you excited and proud of yourself!
🙂 Steph