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Climbing and Parents

• November 2010
• Hi Steph Simple Living Climb

hey there, you dont know me but im one of your fans, my name is Jaysen and i live in the Adirondacks in NY about 2 hours from the gunks. I just found your blog a few days ago and wanted to take the chance to write to you, ive seen you in the sharp end and a few other films and the things you do are super exciting and inspirational to me. im 16 and i started climbing in a gym about a year and a half ago, and in the past summer i got really into trad and started heading down to the gunks as much as i can. For a while everything was fine because i didnt really have to explain what i was doing to my parents until they found one of my photos and freaked. They said i cant climb outside anymore but in the past 2 months or so they have lightened up and ive been going out a little but not the the gunks which tears me apart. But i was wondering how you got into climbing and how your parents took it and more so how you handled it, i mean im not free soloing anything but i guess what i do is still dangerous but they dont understand the lifestyle and how much climbing has turned my life around. but besides that i really just wanted to talk to you, one of these days maybe we’ll cross paths, i really want to to go climbing out west and Yosemite but thats going to take time. until then be sure to let me know you you are heading towards the Adirondacks or the gunks and i’ll be sure to make an effort to meet up.
thanks for reading this steph
-jaysen
-i’ll throw in a photo so you can get an idea of who i am

Dear Jaysen,
Thanks for the letter! I’m glad you are loving climbing, and sorry you are having parental difficulties 🙁 I can definitely relate….when I started climbing, my parents were very much against climbing itself and the lifestyle. Now, twenty years later, they have perhaps started to accept it…?

I started climbing when I was 18, in my first year of college. Before that, my life was very academic and musical, not outdoorsy or athletic at all. So when I started climbing and pretty quickly after that living in my car, my parents were not very enthusiastic (to put it mildly). I admit, I used to feel very sad and actually jealous of my friends whose parents supported their climbing and even encouraged it! It kind of broke my heart that I couldn’t share my excitement about the things I was doing with my parents, or that they couldn’t understand how thrilled I was to be experiencing new worlds and achieving my dreams…. However, as time went by, I grew to appreciate this in a strange way. Because I have always known that my love for climbing is very much my own. At times I have been supported and at times I have been completely discouraged by loved ones and/or the outside world. And though the times of nonsupport can be painful or difficult, it makes it clear as a bell where the motivation comes from, either way. So I have come to see this is a gift, because I know for sure that for me, climbing comes from within and it is purely my own, without a doubt.

Eventually, if you decide you want to keep climbing, your parents will come to see that it’s a part of your life. (Hopefully it does not take twenty years, but hey, it might. 😉 ) They may even come to believe that climbing is a very positive thing….it’s healthy, athletic, community oriented, it builds independence, confidence and commitment as well as a love and respect for nature, and like all wholesome pursuits, it keeps you out of trouble 😉 What parent should not love that?

But no matter what, remember that climbing and the challenges it brings, is always a gift.
🙂 Steph