The Sharp End
Steph,
Just saw Sharp End tonight. Wow. Your segment was pretty rad and
utterly inspiring! My friend mentioned you made that climb twice
because you wanted to conquer the fear you experienced the first time.
Have you always been of that sort of mindset? If you have, how does it
translate to other areas of your life?
Also, I really liked your blog response about living
simply…insightful! Perhaps a book about that someday? Please?
Thanks for being such an inspiration, and good luck with all that
insurance stuff…I can’t say it’s my favorite activity to have to
deal with insurance companies and healthcare ins and outs, but at
least we have access to it, right? And you’re healing well, hopefully?
Always,
Katie
Dear Katie,
Thanks for the great idea! Now I have to add it to my book idea list (which is now a grand total of two!)–I would love to write about that. And I’m glad you liked the Sharp End. Peter Mortimer and Nick Rosen are amazing filmmakers! I ended up soloing the Diamond four times. The second time I soloed it, via the Casual Route, it was specifically because I was afraid in the crux the first time. That taught me a huge lesson about mental approach, which was really important when I went to solo Pervertical, which was a harder solo. I did Pervertical twice too, because Peter had asked if he could film me from a distance on the first solo. I felt comfortable enough to do it again, so he could shoot more, and that was the fourth time I soloed the Diamond.
The thing I found most interesting in doing these repeats was the feeling of “breaking the spell.” The first time is incredibly intense, because you really don’t know if you can do it, completely. The second time, the spell has been broken. You know for a fact you can do it, and that changes everything. I have been extremely interested in fear, and exploring it, since I started climbing. I do think it translates to other areas of life. And I truly believe that fear is the greatest limiter of freedom.
I have healed totally from the accident I had last August, which I am really thankful for….and now I’m just being a little dragged down by dealing with manmade struggles, with my insurance and billing departments! But this too shall pass, I feel sure.
xxSteph
Hi Steph,
I haven’t seen The Sharp End yet but I sure will now 🙂
What you say about fear is very interesting. One of the reasons I started climbing was because I had a slight fear of heights, it was just a little more than others seemed to have and it certainly wasn’t the debilitating kind but it would make itself known from time to time.
Once I started climbing I learned to live with that fear. When asked if I still have a fear of heights, I usually reply that, “I have a healthy respect for them”.
Hi Eileen, that is a very intelligent response, I like it!
🙂 Steph
Thanks, I’m using it in some t-shirt designs at rockgrrl.com… I’ll send you one!
As per usual very interesting reading and I for one would most definitely buy a copy of the book, so an absolute minimum of two copies sold, plus the forced family purchases etc! No excuses, now!
I’m still at the point of confused awe of soloing climbs like this – all the more so when it’s a ‘nasty crack’, as above. I’m getting organised again after 7 or 8 year and climbing regularly 3, 4 days a week and have been for the last month and a half, maybe two. The thing is it’s always been, plastic, indoor bouldering, there’s no fear of falling badly onto rough ground, or from particular height and importantly there’s no faff of requiring someone to belay so it suits me fine as an individual activity. God forbid I decide to get onto climbing some real high rock, the faff of communicating with people so as to find a belay partner is beyond my antisocial, panicky tendancies! Along with finding transport to a suitable climb and well, lets be honest learning how real life, rock holds work as opposed to the plastic equivalent- there’s a lot of pinching that can be done around a two finger hold in the gym, as opposed to a two finger hold sunken into a surface!
All this confused babble is leading to back to your amazing soloing, it’s so awe inspiring to see such amazing outdoor solo climbs, it just seems the polar opposite of my individual, safe, indoor bouldering!
Hello Pete,
Well, one of the advantages of free solo is you don’t need a belayer! 🙂 And maybe in a lot of ways this more extreme style of climbing is the opposite of other types…but in the end, we are all climbers. I think we all feel the same things. That’s part of what’s so great about our community. I think the differences are just part of the commonalities….and it’s great if we can take some inspiration from that.
Best to you!!
xx Steph
Dear Steph,
Thank you so much for your very long and thoughtful ‘How to Live Simply’ post; I deeply enjoy reading everything you have to say and your writing style is totally engaging!
It is straight outrageous that the people from BSBC insurance gave you a ‘we don’t cover parachuting’ line, after you have been a devout payer to them for 15 years. I wish I could smack those corporate drones that made up your case and ‘gifted’ you with a 30K bill. Reading your post just reminded me that a health insurance company is nothing but a corporation whose one and only goal is to make a profit. It is outrageous as well that you can not receive a discount on the enormous bill, because ‘you have insurance’.
I am saddened that part of your precious mental energy has now to go towards dealing with this issue, but please know that lots of anonymous supporters are sending good thoughts your way, and at times it can help a tiny bit if you just tell others about your troubles, rather than trying to get through them all by yourself.
Thank you Irina! You are right. I usually keep everything to myself, when it’s a difficult thing….. one thing that is so great about this blog, is the feeling of community I have with everyone. It is good to share and also reach out when you find yourself challenged with something. It is a huge blessing. Thanks for your support!
It is definitely a big drain on mental energy to be facing this situation, but the good energy I get from friends definitely helps to reduce that drain. Thank you!
xx Steph
What a lovely coincidence that my current book is by David Roberts and the tagline on the back cover reads “Candid and unflinching, ‘On the Ridge Between Life and Death’ is a compelling examination for the risks we take in order to feel more alive.”
I can still remember my first hike up the Mist Trail in Yosemite in elementary school and how it felt to be fearful, but to know that I was to put one foot in front of the other, deliberately and assuredly…and how it felt to reach the top. I definitely experienced that on a different scale hiking Half Dome this summer (I’m lucky to live so close), though as soon as I had descended to the trail head I was ready to do it again and do it better.
I’ve likely about exhausted my friends and family with all my talk of climbing. I wonder when they’ll refuse to hear it…I suppose the incessant reading is the next best thing I can come up with to actually climbing, since I’m still struggling with meeting more people and getting more outdoor experience. I sometimes can’t sleep at night because I’m thinking about climbing…:) It’s like it has taken over my focus the way a good book does, or a favorite food, or a new album…except more and bigger!
I have a great deal of respect for you, Steph, and how your apprehension of the status quo translates to living the kind of life that inspires and intrigues, and yet you still have time to manage blog posts and indulge so many queries and comments. Makes me consider that I might really be able to become the kind of person I’ve always thought was entirely more appealing to me than what’s expected. Or something. 🙂
Dear Katie,
I was just thinking about that yesterday, about intention. I thought, what you want to be, you become. I really believe that’s true.
Here’s another book recommendation for you, and then you will be talking about flying incessantly (I hope you liked Wind, Sand and Stars, btw): Bird Man, by Leo Valentin. You will love it.
Merry Christmas, and may your gift to yourself be new dreams….
xx Steph
My superpower of choice as a child was always flying…
I haven’t read Wind, Sand, and Stars yet, but I’ll let you know when I do.
I’ve definitely been thinking a lot about grownuphood lately, as I just finished my degree and I’m staring in the face the next steps and their consequences. So, your contribution comes at a good time. Very encouraging.
Always,
Katie
You are an amazing person Steph. Love this photo! I found you from a friends page…
Steph,
So on lazy Saturday afternoons when I’m trying to kill the last half hour before I have somewhere to be I find myself frequenting my favorite websites…and then I come across your archives and answers to half the questions I ask you. Like the entry about soloing the Diamond?
Anyways. I’m glad you write a lot, because it means I won’t run out of things to read when I have a little bit of time here and there. And reading your blog has me blogging again, which is nice. I forget how much I need that outlet just to process things.
Have a lovely week!
-Katie
Es una de las cosas más impresionantes que he visto nunca.
He visto The Sharp End varias veces y casi necesito magnesio para el sudor de mis manos.
Me gusta mucho tu blog y tu cercanÃa a la gente.
Regards from Zaragoza, Spain.
Great work, Stephanie! I hope one of these days when I’m freed from the shackles of my work that I will climb all over the world without regret. I’m working towards that goal of early retirement, it will happen someday!
Ah health insurance. It’s a ripoff anyway, as you’re probably finding out. Not even worth having a salaried job for, as I’m finding out.